


Home

by tsundere_silk



Category: Avengers, Captain America (Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Banner doesn't want to participate in pajama day, Everyone loves Darcy, F/M, Snark, Tony Stark does not know how to have roommates, because she's kind of an idiot, darcy and the hulk are bffs, darcy hes also your boss, darcy is PISSED, darcy is the glue, fighting for darcy's attention, flying coffee, its the hair, natasha has a friend, steve and darcy fluff, that brings the avengers together, they cant help it, thor is the center of attention, tony is just a genius who makes extraodinary weapons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-10 10:32:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4388450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tsundere_silk/pseuds/tsundere_silk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three times Darcy thought she humiliated herself in front of the Avengers. OR, the three times the Avengers became completely enamored by her. </p><p>(friendship fluff + Steve/Darcy relationship fluff)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I finally got my Black Widow: Finely Woven Thread comic!! And after I finished, I really wanted to write a story where Darcy becomes Natasha's friend, Natasha thinks Darcy is great, and tries hooking her up with the Captain. Let's throw in some Iron Man friendship fluff, and now we have my most favorite side project I've written yet!

 

_‘I don’t have a home.’_

Natasha flicked her lighter, the dim fire illuminating the dark and empty streets as she waited. She took a puff of her cigarette, looking to any normal person like a tired housewife who was taking a stroll to the store with her long black wig.

But the Black Widow was anything but a normal person.

 _'A home is a distraction.'_ Natasha thought to herself, face deprived of emotion as she lit the cigarette that was in her mouth.

_'In my line of work, one can't afford distractions.'_

She was undercover, disguised in a long black wig, a white pleated skirt, and black tank-top with a green overcoat. She'd been walking for twenty two minutes now, just to play it safe. Her target had been trailing her for the past few blocks now, and Natasha was ready to turn in the alley way so she and her target could have a little alone time, and the criminal man seemed to have the same idea because he was quickening his pace, hoping to take advantage of the woman in a dark corner.

Natasha nearly spit her cigarette out in shock when she felt someone throw a friendly arm around her shoulder, greeting her loudly with a name she didn't know.

"Lucy!! Hey, where've ya been?"

A young, seemingly harmless woman threw her arm around Natasha's shoulder, acting as if the two were old friends. Natasha's eyebrows rose in confusion, turning her head so she could look at the girl who was currently holding her as if they'd been friends since childhood.

"I think you're mistaking me for someone else." Natasha said dryly, not breaking a sweat at the random events the universe threw at her.

"Why didn't you answer your phone? I've been waiting for you for the past twenty minutes!" The woman said, perhaps a little too loudly, before ducking her head down to Natasha's ear and whispering.

"Listen, there's a man behind you who's been following you down the block for a while now."

Natasha's eyebrows rose in curiosity, keeping silent about the fact that she _knew_ the man was following her, and that was the whole point. The woman didn't give     Natasha a chance to respond anyways, because she was already speaking in a quiet whisper.

"But don't be scared, okay? I'm right here, and I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Not if I can help it."

' _I wouldn't even know what 'home' is, if I had one.'_

"Alright, Lucy?" The woman said loudly, wanting to let the criminal know she wasn't afraid to raise her voice if he approached. Natasha remained silent, not sure how to assess the problem, because no one has ever tried to swoop in and save her before. And she definitely didn't need saving.

She needed to take down her target, but now there was a civilian in the mix.

Natasha's newly founded friend checked over her shoulder to see if they were still being followed. Judging by the way the stranger tightened her grip on Natasha's arm, the man was getting closer.

"What's your name?" Natasha asked in a casual tone.

"Darcy. But don't worry. There's two of us and one of him." She sounded determined, but Natasha didn't miss the shake in her voice. "And I've got my tazer."

"Darcy.." Natasha repeated, sounding the name out loud. She was _scared_ , and yet this scared, _brave_ woman threw herself right in the heat of things so she could protect someone else. 

The Black Widow broke from Darcy's grip once the HYDRA supporting scum she'd been tailing finally reached the two women. The brunette let out a startled noise when she saw the woman confront the man who'd been following them.

Darcy dug into her bag with shaky hands, ready to use her tazer if need it be. It wasn't that she was _scared_ , she's tazed a _Norse God_ for crying out loud. The adrenaline is what caused her heart to pound, the anger that this slimy, disgusting, creepy man was trying to--

\--..well, he wasn't trying to do anything anymore.

Darcy watched, jaw slacked open as the black haired woman abruptly flipped the man over her shoulder, slamming him into the pavement and knocking him unconscious.

"I uh.." Darcy's jaw was still on the floor as Natasha stepped on the unconscious man, digging her muddy black combat boots into his chest. "I,...uh??" Darcy was still stumbling over her words, unsure of what just happened. "Wow."

Natasha gave her a mysterious, knowing smirk before bring her wrist to her mouth, and speaking some orders into her fashionably cute watch.

"I want to thank you, Darcy. It's good to know that I have someone watching my back." Natasha said, her voice monotonous with a hint of affection.

Darcy watched, speechless as the woman bent down and literally picked him off the ground and heaved him over her shoulder as if he were a sack of potatoes.

She was gaping like a fish, searching for the right words. "Uh.. well.. you know? Us girls have to stick together, right?" She finished lamely.

Natasha let out a sudden laugh that nearly startled her, because she found that it was genuine.

"Yeah. I have heard that one before."

She's heard it tons of times when she was being trained, whether it was spoken sarcastically or manipulatively. Natasha realized this was the first time someone's spoken it without any mirth; _us girls gotta stick together._

"Who are you?" Darcy asked, a little helpless now that she realized that she had been completely unneeded. She felt like an idiot for intervening.

Natasha raised her hand in the air, and Darcy's eyes widened once she realized there was a helicopter hovering right freaking above them. A ladder came tumbling down, and she adjusted the unconscious man on her shoulder as she stepped on it.

"Natasha." She answered in a simple voice. "Nice meeting you, Darcy. Don't make a habit of wandering the streets at night." Natasha couldn't help the sly, teasing smile that crossed her lips. "Its dangerous, you know."

Darcy nodded her head silently, but Natasha wasn't able to tell as she had already started climbing up the ladder, before the helicopter took off in the direction of where she'd just left, Avenger Tower.

The intern waited until the STARK helicopter was out of view before fishing into her bag and pulling out her phone. Her boss answered on the fifth ring, and Darcy impatiently spoke over Jane's groggy greeting.

"Darcy? Did you forget something again?"

"Okay, okay, Jane listen!" Darcy said excitedly. "I think I might of just met the Black Widow."

Darcy spent the rest of her five minute walk to the train on the phone with Jane, retelling how she humiliatingly tried to protect the most dangerous woman alive.

* * *

. . . 

Steve sat alone in the cafeteria, picking at his plate as his gaze kept drifting towards the table where Thor sat with two women next to him. They were eating muffins and poptarts, and Thor threw his head back as he laughed at something the brunette with a pink beanie had said.

Thor looked like he was having the time of his life, his arm draped around the scientist Jane, while her intern sat next to her. The young woman seemed to be telling a story between bites of her muffins, waving her arms around animatedly.

He didn't realize he was staring, though he was aware of how he did it often. There was something about her that always caught Steve's eye, it was as if she were a candle in a room of darkness, brightening it with her charm and her endless energy.

He must of been staring longer than usual this time, because Natasha  bumped the back of his chair with her hip as she bit into an apple, smirking down at him as she did so.

"Her name's Darcy. She's interesting. Maybe I'll introduce you to her."

Steve looked up to Natasha, startled that she'd figured out what he was thinking so quickly. "I-I didn't ask you to--"

"You didn't have to." She cut Steve off, smirking as she crunched into her apple, walking off before he could try and object.

Steve threw his empty tray away, leaving the cafeteria and deciding he'll join Clint in the gym today. He wasn't sure what Natasha had planned, but he was sure he wouldn't like it.

Unwanted meddling aside, Steve admitted to himself that it was nice to have a name.

 _Darcy_.


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay, I _can_ 't be the only one noticing the men with camera's right outside that window?"  Darcy asked casually, tilting her head back so she could lower a sour straw into her wide open mouth. _Of course_ the love birds were oblivious to the cameramen who were outside of the small Starbucks cafe, eagerly trying to snap a shot of the worlds favorite Avenger on a casual date with his girlfriend.

Jane's eyes glimpsed around Starbucks, before catching sight of the cameramen from out the window of the cafe. The two girls were taking a very much needed coffee break outside of Stark's tower, and since Thor was on Earth and not busy fighting giant, grotesque monsters in Asgard, they agreed it would be smart to take him away from the lab, since the girls weren't quite sure if Stark would bill them for any broken instruments.

"Ah! The men with the flashing lights." Thor said proudly, raising Jane's mocha into the air and gesturing towards the window where paparazzi was snapping pics of them wildly. Dr. Foster quickly brought her arm up to her face, subtly shielding herself from their view.

"Yes, the men who desperately want to catch the _God of Thunder_ with his finger up his nose-- or Jane's skirt, if we're being realistic." Darcy tried explained to Thor, who didn't seemed fazed in the least by the flashing lights. Darcy rolled her eyes, because he was probably definitely _used_ to puny humans fawning over him, and the brunette shifted her gaze to Jane, who seemed to be growing more and more uncomfortable with each flash of photography.

"Shit. I can't even go on a _coffee break_ with my _boyfriend_ without them snapping a pic of every second of it!" Jane said miserably, and Thor smiled charmingly as another flash went off from outside, chewing into his coffee cake.

Darcy frowned as she looked over to her boss, who was sinking deeper and deeper into her chair as an attempt to avoid the cameras. Jane Foster was probably one of the most beautiful women that Darcy knew (when she had on her lady clothes, a good nights worth of sleep, and a few breath mints) but she was also one of the most introverted individuals whom Darcy had ever met, unbelievably shy when it came to anything un-science related. And the intern could only imagine the anxiety her boss felt from having strangers snapping pictures of her enjoying a cup of coffee.

With a determined look on her face, Darcy smacked her hand on the table top as she rose from her seat, grabbing her half filled cup of coffee and catching Jane's eye as she did so.

"Alright! I'll handle this."

"Darce?" Jane asked in a worried tone as she watched her intern rise from her seat and begin to walk out of the cafe. "Darcy? What are you going to do?"

"Leave through the back at my signal!" Darcy called over her shoulder, heading outside. 

Jane rose an eyebrow, having absolutely no idea what this 'signal' would be. Darcy stepped outside of Starbucks, frowning at the paparazzi who were crowded around the only window that gave them a decent shot into the small cafe. The intern clutched her cup, taking a deep breath before she shouted at the group of reporters.

"Hey no lives!!" 

A few heads turned in her direction to see what the crazy woman was shouting about. Jane watched from her seat in the coffee shop in confusion as her intern seemed to be yelling at the paparazzi. Thor took another gulp of Jane's coffee, completely oblivious of what the two women were fussing about, and handed Jane her practically empty cup back. The doctor took her cup with a frown on her face (Jane had already come to terms with the fact that sharing a bed with Thor literally meant sharing everything else, and that varied between food and drinks and a variety of other things), and her eyes widened when a cup of coffee suddenly collided into the window.

Thor chuckled deeply with amusement, while Jane's jaw dropped, completely horrified. The mortification vanished once she realized that Darcy's reckless plan worked, and now that the angry paparazzi's attention was now on her intern, she and Thor had the perfect opportunity to escape through the back. The tiny doctor hopped out of her seat without hesitation, grasped onto her lovers arm (who smiled down at her sweetly, unaware of Darcy's brave sacrifice of her favorite coffee in order to get them out unnoticed) and quickly flagged down an employee who could escort them through the back.

 

* * *

. . .

Natasha was smirking at her phone's screen, reading the latest news report of a sighting of _Thor_ in a local Starbucks, accompanied by an unknown woman who they were rumoring to be a girlfriend. There was a note at the end of the article featuring an apology from the publisher for not being able to get a face-check on the lucky girl, because "some jackass threw a tantrum, chucked her coffee at the window, and ruined my shot."

The Black Widow had a small smile on her face as she reclined in the sofa she was sitting on, crossing her ankles and hitting 'replay' on the Youtube video of said jackass throwing her coffee. Darcy was shown walking out of Starbucks with a frown on her face as she called the reporters 'no lives', before throwing her cup at the window when they ignored her and proceeded to snap shots. Darcy's smile was proud when her cup burst, hands on her hips when the hot liquid coated the glass, distorting any further pictures. 

The reporters all turned their attention to Darcy and began to shout angrily at the woman who'd ruined their shots. The video abruptly cut off, and Natasha snickered to herself as she rewinded the video right to where Darcy had thrown her cup. She hit play, laughed at the reporters reactions, rewinded it once again, and laughed some more. 

Tony's body froze in the lift of his elevator when the doors opened on his top floor, caught off guard by the familiar woman who was lounging on his couch. Natalia, Natalie--? Whatever the hell her name was, she was the _Black Widow,_ and she was making herself comfortable on his leather sofa.

He finally stepped out of the elevator, maintaining his usual air of arrogance as he casually walked over to his bar, despite the sudden tightness in his chest that usually made its appearance when his anxiety was beginning to pick up. Tony ignored the signs and casually poured himself a shot of whiskey.

"Natalia." Tony said dryly, and Natasha peered over her shoulder at him. "It is Natalia, right?" He asked with his usual snark. This was the first time Tony had the opportunity to confront his _former assistant_ , and he _really_ wished it didn't have to be around the same time his nightmares were beginning to act up.

"Is it Natalia?" He mused out loud to himself.

Natasha remained silent, quirking an eyebrow as she tilted her head just the slightest bit so she could get a better glance at Stark, and the fit that he was clearly passively throwing.

"Natalie?" He continued, "I don't quite remember. I think I lost in in all of the _lies_ you told me." He finished his shot in one gulp, not taking his eyes off of her for a moment as he did so.

"Agent Romanoff will do," Natasha replied easily, not taking the bait he clearly wanted her to grab.

She understood that Stark had _very good_ reasons to be cautious of her, considering she _did_ infiltrate his business under S.H.I.E.L.D's orders to keep a close eye on him, and also to assess how suitable the man behind the iron would be for the Avengers Initiative.

Tony set his cup down with a loud 'clink'. "Ahhh, that was it. _Agent._ " He said the word as if it were the only name suitable for a woman like herself. The billionaire playboy pressed his lips together skeptically, and Natasha could tell that whatever was going to come out of his mouth would be more annoying than the usual incoherent garb he went on about when he was drinking.

"What I'm wondering, _agent_ , is why you decided to join our little club of super heroes. If I recall correctly, _and I always do,_ it was your job to assess me. Right?" He poured himself another shot of whiskey, icecubes clanking around in his glass. Tony grabbed the cup, continuing, " _Don't play well with others?_ Really, Romanoff? After all we'd been through, that's the best you got? I'm hurt."

He bowed his head sarcastically, taking a long gulp of the alcohol. Natasha resisted the urge to roll her eyes, not wanting to give Tony a reaction at all. She could see that he was on edge, and her appearance seemed to teeter him closer to the brink of some kind of Tony Stark meltdown.

"But what I dont get is, what's your part in all of this, hm? Because last I checked, its  _your_ job to handle all of the sneaky, slimy stuff. _Not_ Asgardian God's of Thunder with enough family issues to level the entire earth. And lets not forget the aliens."

Natasha remained unruffled by Tony's obvious goading, crossing her legs as she straightened her posture.

"I drift around when needed." She answered vaguely.

In reality, Fury had asked Natasha to keep an eye on Tony Starks new 'Avenger Tower', despite the fact she'd explained to the director that Stark trusted her as far as he could throw her. And if the Black Widow was resisting, then Tony Stark couldn't throw her very far at all.

Tony clicked his tongue at her response, "You see, that's why I've made it very exclusive protocol to keep _drifters_ ," He pointed a finger at the dangerous spy on his couch. "Like _you_ , out of _my_ personal space. I made a key card and everything."

Natasha absently dug into her jacket pocket and pulled out said card, which had 'AVENGER' across the top and 'Natasha Romanoff' in smaller print underneath.

Tony froze, looking at the card in disbelief. He was _sure_ he'd _only_ issued the key to the top three floors of his tower to his teammates who'd he thought needed it the most.

This included the Captain, who appreciated the offer, but usually only visited the tower to use Tony's state of the art gym. Then there was Thor, who spent his time fighting battles in Asgard with his comrades, but on the occasions that he was _in town,_ he crashed in one of the rooms Tony had assigned specifically to him. (Specifically, because he designed the room with sturdier walls in case the God of thunder got angry and started punching things. Tony refused to acknowledge that it was all for nothing, because once Thor brought Mjolnir out, there was nothing that could stand in his way.)

Tony had tried to convince Banner to stop by the Tower so they could make unfathomingly unbeliable Science! together, but he had yet to get a response. Banner was probably the only Avenger that Tony truly didn't mind sharing his bachelor pad with.

However, he didn't remember giving Natasha such privileges. He would specifically remember allowing a sneaky S.H.I.E.L.D agent who's held him against his will (for his own good) and managed to fool him once already. Tony cleared his throat, successfully hiding his displeasure.

" _Annnd_ you already have one." He said flatly. "Why do you already have one? I need to have a serious talk with my people."

Natasha sighed, _because honestly,_ having a distrustful Stark riding her ass was exhausting as hell. "Actually, it was Ms. Potts herself who so graciously provided me with this."

She smirked when she saw Tony's eyes widened, and it felt good to prove him wrong that she _didn't_ sneak her way into the Avenger's dorms like the snake he thought she was, but was in fact _invited_.

Tony nodded his head, as if in approval now that he realized Pepper was the mastermind behind all of this. It was a bit confusing, considering he thought the two women hadn't gotten along, but clearly he had missed something. He just hoped it wasn't their kiss and makeup.

"Well then. Mi casa es tu casa."

"Thats very kind of you, Mister Stark." Nat smiled deviously, and Tony approached the couch she was sitting on, peering over her shoulder to get a better view of what was on her phones screen.

"What's that you're watching?" Tony asked, though he clearly wasn't expecting a reply, because there was no privacy under his roof. "I never took you as one to gossip." He took a drink of his whiskey, snorting at his joke obnoxiously into his cup. "Ha! You see what I did there? Because you're the queen of gossip, you know?" He waved his hand in her direction, unimpressed by the news article.

This time Natasha _really did_ roll her eyes, because when was Tony going to stop making these baseless accusations about her? Instead of snapping at him reaaal good like she wanted to, the Black Widow simply lifted her screen so that Tony could get a better view (and stop leaning over her shoulder) before saying slowly, "This.. is the Avengers very own bodyguard."

There was no hiding the fondness in Natasha's voice, and Tony lifted an eyebrow at her soft tone, but the assassin kept her mouth shut and pressed the 'replay' button on the video, not sharing with Stark the story of how Lewis had tried to protect her that night.

Both Nat and Tony snorted in unison when the young woman on the screen threw her cup of coffee at the window, blocking the reporters from getting any juicy details on the God of Thunder's very shy, very anxiety prone girlfriend. Stark's eyebrows were raised to his hairline from amusement as he read the headline; ' _upset fangirl throws tantrum because of paparazzi_ '.

"The big guy's lucky, I could use a tantrum throwing fangirl of my own. Would of been useful when the paparazzi were on my ass a few months ago." Tony rubbed his chin in approval. Damn Thor, why was he everyone's favorite Avenger? It must be the hair. But what about Tony's goatee? Or the billions in his bank account?

Natasha nodded her head in agreement, because she knew first hand all about how Stark could be around the paparazzi.

"Actually, she does work for you." Natasha said shruggingly, collecting herself from the couch, deciding she had enough time to make it to her meeting with her lawyer to discuss what mission she'd be taking next with a few minutes to spare. "Well, technically she works for Doctor Foster, who you hired three months ago to be your astrophysicist consultant." Natasha placed her phone into her pocket, making her way over to the elevator as she looked at Tony. She smirked at him, because it didn't go missed by either of them that Natasha may have been undercover when she was working for Stark, but she had done a _damn good job at it_.

"I'll see you around, Mister Stark." Natasha folded her hands in front of her, and although she was wearing a pair of baggy military pants instead of the pencil skirt she'd donned while undercover, she still managed to seem formal and professional despite the fact she could probably kill him in twenty five different ways with just the bobby pin in her hair.

Tony waved his hand in her direction as he stalked his way back over to his bar, pouring himself another shot. "Yeah, bye _roomie_." He said sarcastically as the elevator doors slid shut, still bitter about the fact that she now had access to his home. Natasha hit the 'G' level button, smiling to herself.

 

Tony frowned into his drink once he was finally alone in his home. He didn't like the idea of Natasha knowing things that he didn't.

"Jarvis, where's Doctor Foster right now?"

"In the medical lab, where you assigned her, sir. Though I should inform you, she and Doctor Banner are quite preoccupied at the moment."

"Bruce?" Tony lifted an eyebrow, because he didn't know Bruce was in the tower? He's supposed to know these things. "Alright. I'm about to lose it."

He snatched his brown coat off of the coat hanger and marched into the elevator.

"Sir?"

Tony Stark was _not used_ to having roommates. And he definitely wasn't used to things happening right under his nose. It was time he put a stop to all of the sneaking around.

"Take me down to the lab, J. It's time I meet Doctor Foster, and see why Banner hasn't swung by to tell his best buddy 'hi'." Tony rubbed his goatee thoughtfully as the elevator doors slid shut. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would say Tony's mentality state in this story is somewhere between the second and third movie, where he's partying less and becoming more invested in Iron Man, but he's having nightmares about the events of The Avengers, and has anxiety attacks.
> 
> Also, in Iron Man 2, he finds out his dad helped find SHIELD, so technically he should trust them right? But in Avengers, Tony is distrustful of Fury so I figured he'd probably still be pretty weary of Nat. Just breaking down his character for ya'll if you think I had him being a little too rough on Nat.
> 
> Also, sorry there isn't much Steve/Darcy yet. Next chapter will have Banner/Jane/Darcy brofluff, and a jealous Tony because his science buddy has new buddies. Darcy and Steve to come though!
> 
> Anyways, this story got so much more reviews then I ever thought I could receive. Thank you very much, I planned on making this a side story that I worked on whenever I got bored of my other fics, but clearly I should show this one as much attention too.
> 
> Thank you so much for the reviews. ty ty ty xoxo


	3. Chapter 3

The intern had her tongue sticking out of her mouth in concentration as she held two full cups of coffee by their handles in one hand, and a single cup in the other. She'd managed to make the trip from the break room back to the lab miraculously without spilling any of the hot liquid on her skin. She wore a proud grin on her face when the laboratory doors slid open, and she managed to make it to the desk without a splashing incident.

Darcy smacked her hands together proudly from her accomplishment, and then cheerfully began distributing the cups among her fellow scientist.

"Rise and shine, sleepyheads!" Darcy sang loudly to the lab of snoring scientists.

Three messy heads popped up from their desk in unison. Jane rubbed absently at her eyes while making blind grabby hands for coffee, already knowing the drill of Darcy waking her up with coffee to refuel her.

Bruce groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose as he realized he'd slept face first in his book with his glasses on. And that certainly was not a good feeling.

Professor Selvig had been drooling on his arm, and he bolted up in fear when Darcy's voice woke him.

The intern lifted an eyebrow at her Professor while setting his cup of coffee on the counter-top before him. Erik stumbled groggily as he rubbed at his eyes, voice laced with confusion.

"Darcy? What are you doing here?"

"I brought coffee." Darcy shrugged her shoulders in nonchalance, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Which it was, because she was currently pushing the mug towards him.

Erik took the cup and nodded his head in appreciation, taking a sip of the coffee and shaking the sleep out of his system. "No, I mean _what_ are you doing? And what- what are you wearing?"

"Hmm?" Darcy tilted her head. "These are my pajamas. Its pajama day. Look, you're wearing yours too."

She gestured her arm to her mentor, who had just stepped from behind the counter to retrieve his coffee that Darcy had set out for him.

Upon her words, Erik looked down at his lap before realizing he was only in his lab coat and underwear, and he quickly ducked back behind the counter.

"No, Darcy, I am not!"

Erik seethed embarrassed, hiding his man parts behind the counter. Ever since his mishaps with Loki, Selvig hasn't been the same, his memory fading in and out, sudden panic attacks that left him running out of the lab in a fit of hysterics. Both Jane and Darcy were immune to their Professors crazy stunts by now, and they usually just went along with it.

He continued, "And stop with the childish antics, Doctor Foster and I have been very busy these passing three nights-"

"Actually, Professor, I think it's fun." Jane pushed her rolling chair back and away from her desk, revealing to her team the pink fuzzy bunny slippers that she donned for Pajama Day.

Darcy let out a proud, "Ha!" Instantly recognizing the bunny slippers as the ones that Jane wore around her house when they were working in her moms basement. The intern gave her mentor a thumbs up.

"And it's kind of genius, if you think about it. I mean, we spend countless nights asleep in the lab anyways. At least on pajama day, we can do it in style."

Jane wiggled her toes and the two pink bunny ears flopped appropriately.

Darcy handed the last cup of coffee to Bruce, while taking a sip of her own mug. Jane paused, realizing that Darcy had only brought three cups, before pouting slightly.

"Hey.. where's mine?" She frowned, still groggy from lack of a caffeinated substance.

Darcy casually took a sip of her drink, ignoring Jane's crestfallen face. "Well, you guys never told me we were having a _guest_.." The intern shot her gaze to Doctor Banner, who was looking at his mug of coffee with a slight frown.

"I'm more of a honey and tea guy, myself.." Bruce began gently as he looked down at the mug of dark coffee, before lifting his gaze when he felt Darcy glare and lift an eyebrow silently asking him ' _are you serious right now_?'

Banner nervously cleared his throat, scratching his temple. "But.. this is great. Thank you."

He took a sip of his coffee, and Darcy shot her gaze back to Jane. "So no coffee for you, sorry. Not sorry."

"Ugh." Jane scoffed, making grabby hands at the cup of coffee that Darcy was sipping, and the younger brunette snorted and tucked the cup close against her chest.

"Uhh, I don't think so. This is a Darcy specialty, and I don't think you're supposed to be drinking while you're on the job, even if your boss in a raging alcoholic."

"Oh, shut up!" Jane said crabbily as she reached forward and took the cup from her intern who didn't bother resisting, and Jane took a long gulp, feeling the burn of warm coffee and hot alcohol roll down her throat.

"Mmm, that's good."

"So, no one told Tea and Honey about pajama day?" Darcy asked, frowning as she took her cup back from her mentor and nodded her head towards the mousey doctor who was sipping his ordinary coffee with a scrunched nose.

"I think I mentioned it to him before, but we've been pretty busy Darce. You can't expect everyone to follow our traditions."

The brunette set her cup of coffee next to Jane. "That's unacceptable!"

Darcy glared at Bruce, who had just woken up enough to realize the two women were speaking about him. His eyebrows rose once he met with the interns glare.

Bruce waved his hand, trying to shake off the attention. "Oh, uh, I'm not really a dress up kind of-"

"Darcy, leave Banner alone!" Erik snapped as he slung his legs through a pair of jeans to cover up his underwear.

"What?" Darcy said, pitch raising an octave higher in defense. "Me and Jane have _our_ pajama's on!" Darcy gestured wildly to her red and black plaid pajama bottoms and black tank top, and then to Jane's dirty white shirt and messy bed head. "You were rocking your tidy whities. Look at him, he's wearing a _suit_! Total disrespect for our uniform regulations."

"I think entering a science lab without any shoes on is the first breach of uniform regulation," Banner retorted dryly, eyeballing Darcy's mitch matching ankle socks.

The intern wiggled her toes and raised an eyebrow at Bruce, as if asking him what his point was. Banner took another sip of his coffee and looked away with a small smile, not offering another retort to the intern.

"Didn't Jane explain to you how we were going to be _very busy_ for the next few days?" Professor Selvig grumbled to Darcy as he approached their intern, swinging an arm around her shoulder as he began to lead her towards the exit.

"Yeah. She did. But that was also _five days ago_ , and I haven't heard a word from you guys since. I thought you might be lonely."

Darcy tried to look over her shoulder at Doctor Foster, who'd retied her ponytail and was currently flipping through the notes she'd written last night while half asleep.

Erik placed both of his hands on Darcy's shoulders and continued to steer her towards the exit. "No, Darcy, we are not _lonely_." Selvig stressed the word exasperatedly.

"You aren't working in _Jane's mothers basement anymore_ , so you can't just _pop in,_ whenever you feel like it. If Doctor Foster told you she'll let you know when she needs you, then you have to wait until-"

"Oh, that's enough, Professor." Jane said loudly to the two who were whispering to eachother off in the corner. "Darcy is right, I _did_ get lonely. And she brought you and Doctor Banner coffee," Jane whirled around in her chair so she could face Bruce, who looked up from his notes sheepishly.

Jane narrowed her eyes just the slightest bit at Bruce as she said sweetly, "So I'm sure she won't be a bother.. right Doctor?"

Erik froze as he looked down to Darcy, who smiled cheekily up at him. Selvig loved Darcy as much as Jane ( _debatable_ ), and she worked like a charm as their safety net for information that they may have missed or overlooked.

However, when Erik had received word from his old friend Banner with news about some interesting research he wanted to share, Selvig thought he'd made it very clear with Jane that Banner was unstable and prone to.. 'outbursts', as he had kindly put it, and stressed how important it was that they didn't have their _eccentric intern_ prancing around the lab and disturbing their guest.

"U-uhm, sure. There's no problem with me." Bruce stammered as he took off his glasses, wiping at his eyes.

Darcy let out a whoop as she ducked from underneath Selvigs hold, skipped her way over to Jane, and sat on the stool next to her workspace.

"Alright cool. Let's see what you've been up to these past five days, _Doctor Foster_." The intern said teasingly, excited at the chance to finally look over some notes after a week of hiatus.

She hummed in approval as she peered at her mentor's note filled journal. She was able to break down and decode most of her formula's, but there was some of it that Darcy couldn't make sense of. Her eyes widened as she slowly nodded her head, "Woah.. uh, good stuff, Jane." It was going to take days for her to try and figure those formulas out.

Jane didnt appear to be listening as she reached for the mug of coffee next to her, taking a sip, and making a face. "Oof! Oh no, I need a regular cup of coffee, Darcy. Preferably no alcohol, more SweetnLow's." She explained.

The intern rolled her eyes as she grabbed her coffee mixed with gin and held it close to her chest. "Alright, alright. Hey, when was the last time you brushed your teeth, anyways? Genius germs all over my cup." She grumbled.

Darcy took a long gulp of her coffee as she exited the laboratory to go fetch the scientist her much needed cup of coffee. Erik looked at Jane and shook his head, before shrugging apologetically towards Bruce.

Banner gave him a soft smile, amused by the chemistry between the two scientists and their intern.

* * *

 . . .

"Hey, big guy! I didn't know that you were in town, buddy."

Banner froze when the laboratory doors slid open just a few minutes later, revealing Tony Stark who spread his arms wide, announcing his entrance. Bruce took off his glasses and let them hang around his neck as he pinched his nose, forcing a smile.

"Stark." Bruce said warmly as Tony clapped him, perhaps too roughly, on his shoulder.

Jane and Selvig exchanged looks as the smaller doctor mouthed 'Stark?' to her mentor as they watched the exchange quietly.

"I figured every alarm in your system would alert you when I stepped on the premises. It didn't seem necessary to search for you and say hello." Bruce admitted sheepishly, though there was something hidden in his tone. He fiddling with his pencil.

Tony frowned at Bruce with a hurt look that made the doctor shift uncomfortably.

"I figured you were too busy to be bothered?" Banner tried again, knowing exactly how to stroke the man's ego.

Tony hummed in thought as he pet his goatee, nodding his head in agreement.

"I _may_ have been pretty busy there," the genius admitted, thinking back to how he'd spent the past two weeks digging around in the pandora box of Stark secrets his father had, apparently, kept for him after he died.

Banners shoulders relaxed, and he placed his palm to his forehead, eyebrows furrowing in sudden exhaustion. Tony didn't seem to notice, as he turned his back to Banner and lifted an eyebrow at Selvig and Jane, who were staring at him quizzically.

Tony spread his arms, as if expecting an applaud from the two doctors. "And you must be Thor's girl-"

"Doctor Foster, thank you." Jane cut Tony off abruptly. "And if I may, what are you _doing_ down here?"

(The Doctor may have been a tad defensive because she was worried Stark came to discipline her for that expensive looking magnified glass she pushed off her desk a week ago, but she knew she was being ridiculous. She and Darcy hid the evidence so he couldn't know.. right?)

Tony lifted an eyebrow at Fosters tone, and shifted his gaze to Bruce as if expecting some backup. Banner pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling more exhausted and tired then he was when he'd first woken up.

Tony shot his gaze back to Jane, eyebrow lifted. "Well, I kind of own the place, girlie." Jane pressed her lips together, unimpressed. Tony tried again, "I came to check up on my favorite Doctors?"

"I've been working here for three months now, and you never once felt the need to 'check up'." Jane grumbled, swirling in her chair to tuck back into her desk and scribble some formulas that she remembered.

Tony's gaze flickered to her feet right before they were hidden underneath her desk.

"Are those... bunny slippers?"

"I think what Dr. Foster is trying to say, Mr. Stark, is," Erik said in a soothing tone in an attempt to calm the two cranky scientist. He held much more respect for the most famous Avenger because Tony had helped save his life, and Erik placed a palm on Jane's shoulder, a silent plea for her to check herself. _"Is there something we can do for you,_ sir _?"_

Tony lifted his eyebrows, amused, and his lips curled into a smirk at Selvig. "See now, _you_ , are much less hostile. You'd think Dr. Foster here was the one under Loki's evil mind control spell. And all that good stuff."

Erik flinched at the memory, and Jane whirled around in her chair to glare at Stark, _hard_. If Tony noticed either of their reactions, he didn't bother apologizing as he began to walk over to Banner, to probably ask him why he was down here with these sticks in the mud.

"Actually, yes, I came down here because-" Tony placed his hands on the back of Banners chair, ready to literally drag the timid Doctor up to his lab if he wasn't going to budge. However, the laboratory doors slid open and a brunette with glasses sauntered in.

"Coffee!" Darcy raised her half empty mug, and Jane's fresh cup in the air proudly.

Jane and Selvig exchanged worried glances, and Tony grinned at the newcomer.

"Ahh, if it isn't the tantrum-throwing-coffee-fan-girl!" Stark backed away from Banner's chair, who was rubbing his palm against his forehead furiously. Tony turned to Darcy proudly, " _I_ , am a v _ery big fan_ of your work."

Darcy's eyebrows raised to her hairline in confusion as she looked at _Tony Stark_ , and then glanced at Jane, and back to Stark.

"Uh... is this about the magnifying glass? Because... legally, that was Jane's fault."

((Let's just ignore the fact that Darcy had been the one who'd set it _right next_ to Jane's elbow on the counter, but those were just details.))

"We don't know _what_ Mister Stark wants," Jane said slowly between clenched teeth to her intern. Darcy let out a nervous giggle, because if he didn't know about the magnifying glass before, then it was safe to say he was aware of it now.

"Oh. Well then, coffee!" Darcy said, eager to change the subject as she raised the mug proudly in the air.

Jane let out a sigh of relief when Darcy handed her mentor the cup and sat on the stool next to her once again. The intern pawed at the closest piece of paper she could find, proud to be the first person to read Doctor Fosters mind blowing observations and formulas. She had a lot of work to catch up on since Professor Selvig had been so adamant about keeping her out the lab while their guest (who had the nerve to wear fancy clothes in _her_ lab ~~yes it is her lab~~ on _Pajama Day_ ) was visiting.

Tony frowned as the two women immediately began burying their noses in their work, ignoring his presence completely (hello, did the fact that he was Tony Stark, _Iron Man_ mean nothing to them? For some reason, Tony knew he had Thor to blame for this).

Erik approached Tony, secretly glad Dr. Foster and their intern were minding their own business instead of trying to converse with Stark. He feared either woman would open their mouths and offend the multi billionaire and cost them their spot in his lab. Selvig wrung his hands together nervously.

"Mr. Stark..?" Erik hovered over Tony's shoulder, wondering to himself why the man came down to the lab in the first place.

Bruce suddenly slapped the counter. "S-something's.. wrong."

"You got that right," Tony said with a frown as he glanced at Dr. Foster and her assistant, not appreciating being ignored. "There is _definitely_ something wrong with this picture."

Selvig took small baby steps backwards until he was next to Jane's table. Darcy glanced up from her notes and looked over at Bruce with concern.

"Tony..!" Bruce snapped through clenched teeth, snapping the playboy genius out of whatever it was he was thinking. " _Something_ , is _wrong_."

"...Jarvis?" Tony said suddenly, and neither women missed the raising panic in his voice. Selvig slowly placed his palm on Jane's shoulder.

"Um.. What's happening?" Darcy said gently to Selvig and Jane, who had set her pencil down in concern.

Selvig spoke through clenched teeth, whispering out the side of his mouth; "We.. have got... to go."

 _"I have detected no signs of foul play, sir."_ The AI spoke through the speakers, and Darcy's eyes shot up to the ceiling in confusion.

"No.." Bruce groaned, falling out of his chair and curling in fetal position. "You're wrong..."

Dr. Selvig had successfully pushed Jane out of her seat, both hands glued to her shoulders as he began to steer her towards the exit. Darcy stood from her stool, a few paces behind her professor, but her eyes were glued to Stark, who stayed in the middle of the lab.

"Then _check again_ , Jarvis." Tony said stressfully, because 'no signs' wasn't going to help him right now. He tried to calm Banner, "Alright buddy, what's going on? You wanna talk about it? Let's talk about it."

"Sleepy.." Bruce's voice came from under the table, followed by a few thumps as he kicked the desk from squirming around too much. "Can't.. Stay awake."

"Now," Selvig hissed to Jane and Darcy as he forcefully guided Jane out of the lab. Darcy still held her cup of coffee in her hands,and suddenly she was wishing she hadn't added those shots of gin into her mug.

" _Pulling up Dr. Banners vital signs_ ," Jarvis announced.

"Nng, nnngh.." There was a sound of cracking and tearing clothes from underneath the table. Erik was shoving Jane to the door, Darcy just a few steps behind when they heard the horrific roar.

It wasn't Bruce who emerged from underneath the desk. It was something much larger, much angrier, more green.

The Hulk.

"Run!" Jane screamed as the doors slid open, and she and Selvig were out of the lab in no time. Unfortunately, the Hulk's head snapped towards Dr. Foster, before making a Hulk-shaped-hole in the wall as he chased after them.

The emergency alarm began to ring.

Darcy's cup slipped from her hands, crashing against the floor. Her socks slipped in the puddle of hot coffee and glass as she tried to chase after her mentor, slipping in the process. "Jane! Erik!" She shouted, mortified.

"Jarvis, I need the suit." Tony said, his voice steady with a slight panicked undertone. "I need it now, J!"

Darcy slipped her now useless soggy socks off of her feet, now barefoot as she tried to stop herself from shaking. Tony turned his head towards the intern, pointing a finger at her as he began,

"You! Stay right here and-"

Darcy took off, bare feet padding against the floor as she ran out of the lab and down the hall, taking in the damage of smashed walls and debris that the Hulk had caused.

"-don't... do that." Tony groaned, rubbing an exhausted hand down his face.

* * *

. . .

 

 "Jane!" Darcy tried to call, but she could only manage a forced hiss through clenched teeth.

The alarm was blaring now, flashing red lights bouncing against the walls as she tiptoed through the empty hall.

She would hear the Hulk approaching, right? Something that big couldn't be silent, right..?

More courageously, Darcy tried again. "Erik! Jane! Are you guys in here?"

The light flickered. Darcy held her breath as she listened for a response.

There was a slight hiss, before she recognized the sound of Jane whispering her name.

"Darcy...?"

Darcy whipped her head towards a door in the hall that had been secured by metal lining when the alarm went off.

"Shhh, Jane! He's still out there!"

The intern gulped, realizing that Doctor Foster and Professor Selvig had managed to duck into one of the safe rooms before the alarms had set off, and she was stranded in the hallway defenseless while _he was still out here._

Why did she put herself in these sorts of situations?

"We have to let her in!" Darcy could faintly hear Jane whisper to Selvig from through the wall, but it was hard to concentrate when her heartbeat was pounding furiously in her ears.

"Jane, stop it or you're going to get us both killed!" Erik's muffled voice came from the door.

Darcy could hear Jane hitting something, trying to figure out a way to pry the doors open, the metal clanking loudly at her attempts. Darcy gulped as she heard a low growl and a _sniff_ , and then there was a _thump, thump, thump_.

The sound of the Hulk rounding the corner, fifteen yards away from Darcy. The college student let out a little gulp, pressing her back against the steel door. Jane smacked something against it again, and this time Darcy felt the door budge, but it remained shut.

"Jane..." Darcy said slowly, her voice, by some miracle, managed to remain calm. There was a slight waver in it, but the Hulk couldn't sense fear, could he?

_Could he?_

"I'm going to need you to move a little bit quicker.." Darcy urged, smacking the door gently.

Come on, Foster! There was no way she could outrun this thing!

Hulk tilted his head to the side, advancing slowly towards Lewis.

There was intelligence in his eyes. He was watching her carefully, and Darcy had the sudden urge to put her hands in the air to show she wouldn't harm him, _couldn_ ' _t_ harm him, please for the love of Thor just _stay calm_ -

And so she did.

"Hey there big guy... _I-I-I._. I don't think we've met yet..." Darcy said with her usual charming, albeit nervous laugh. She slowly raised both of her hands in the air, palms facing the nine foot ball of rage.

What was she saying? Darcy's mouth was always moving on its own accord when her brain was taking too long to function, and right now was definitely one of those moments.

Thank God she took those Improv classes at Culver.

Unfortunately, improv didn't teach her how to coach The Incredible Fucking Hulk down from wanting to smash her into a pancake.

"I-I-I don't think we've met yet.. But uh, I saw you on the news. Um, in New York? You-you helped the Avengers save the world, you know?"

The Hulk snarled, upper lip lifting to show squared greenish-grey teeth, and he was growling at her.

He stopped, standing in place as he watched Darcy intently, sniffing the air loudly.

"Darcy, you daft girl, _you need to run_!" Erik's voice came from behind the wall.

"Erik, _help me_!" Jane snapped, strained and out of breath.

Darcy felt the door budge again, and this time her back snapped off the wall before something slipped and the door slammed shut again. Jane cursed and started kicking the door in frustration, and Darcy pressed her back against the steel.

"Its okay, _it's okaaaay,_ " Darcy cooed at the massive green Hulk as he slowly began to approach her again. She wiggled her fingers, hands still in the air so she could remind him she was defenseless. "Listen Big Guy... I would really... _really_ like to talk to Bruce right now..."

The Hulk snarled, suddenly slamming his fist into the drywall, agitated. Darcy flinched at the Hulk's brute strength. She felt like her knees would give in on her any second. He let out a long, terrifying roar that literally had Darcy's hair whipping around her head. He was getting closer and closer to her now, with maybe about a ten yards to spare.

_Too close, too close._

This time, Darcy felt her legs actually give out on her, but she managed to grasped the wall before she sunk into a puddle on the floor.

Okay... no mentioning the other guy. She knew that now. She can work with this.

"Alright- alright!" The intern squeaked desperately, heart pounding so quickly she thought she'd black out. "It's just me and you then, buddy. You-you can understand me, right?"

Hulk sniffed deeply through his nose, releasing a menacing snarl, but no longer advancing towards Lewis once again. Darcy could hear Jane trying to pry the door open from the other side.

"Darcy, Darcy, just keep talking to him. I think it's calming him down," Janes muffled voice came from inside of the safe room. "I almost got it, Darce, if I could just pry this damn thing open-"

"He's... he's just watching me..?" Darcy said to her mentor, puzzled. "I... don't think he _wants_ to hurt me. I.. I think he's confused. I think I can calm him down as long as he doesn't get-"

Darcy was cut off as she suddenly watched Iron Man whizz through the hall, heading straight towards the Hulk and throwing him out of the window of the 30th floor.

The interns jaw dropped as she watched the two Avengers crash out of the building and go hurtling towards the ground.

"...agitated." Darcy finished weakly before letting out a long groan.

Bullcrap, of course Iron Man _would_ kick the fucking hornets nest right when she had everything under control.

Jane cheered with triumph when she pried the door open and pulled Darcy into the room, causing both girls to fall on the floor. Selvig peeked his head out and peered into the hall, seeing the Hulk-shaped hole in the wall.

"Is it... is it safe?" Selvig whispered as Jane peeked her head out to examine the halls as well.

Darcy groaned as she rubbed her head, which collided with the floor when Jane threw her down. "Ugh.. geez Jane! I think you just gave me a concussion."

After rubbing her head for a few seconds, Darcy seemed to remember where it was she was at, and she jumped to her feet and rushed down the hall towards the hole in the wall.

As soon as she looked down, Darcy was reminded how much she _absolutely hated heights_. There was a large dent in the ground, caused by the Hulk's crash, but there was no Hulk.

"Where are they? Where are they..?" Darcy pushed her glasses against her nose as her eyes scanned the city, having a perfect vantage point from her spot on the thirtieth floor.

There! Darcy squinted as she saw Iron Man trying to calm the Hulk down, blasting him with his repulsor rays when he didn't cooperate. Jane and Selvig rushed over to the gaping hole in the wall to examine the damage being done to the city while to the Avengers duked it out.

"Oh no.." Jane gasped, horrified that Doctor Banner was the Hulk. The same Doctor that she's spent the last three sleepless days working with. The same Doctor who'd she would consider quiet, but definitely not shy. He was an old friend of the Professor's, the two having both worked at Culver at the same time.

Selvig said that Bruce had a condition, but he never said _this_.

Erik pinched the bridge of his nose, pulling both Jane and their intern away from the thirty foot drop. "We aren't safe here, we have to go."

Jane looked lost. Darcy snapped her shoulder away from Selvig's grip, raising her nose in the air as she spoke with determination.

"We have to help."

"Are you insane?" Selvig hissed as he grabbed both of Darcy's shoulders and forced her to look at him. "I won't let you _kill yourself_ because you're trying to _play hero._ "

"I can calm him down!" Darcy begged Selvig desperately. Both the Professor and Dr. Foster eyeballed her uncertainly. Darcy gulped nervously. "Well, I can _try_."

"Darcy, Iron Man is going to take care of it. It's what he does. Not what you do. You keep yourself safe," Selvig spoke slowly, as if he were explaining this to a child.

Both Jane and Darcy glanced outside where the battle was taking place, watching as the Hulk threw Iron Man by his arm into a building. He fell back to the ground limpy, his armor already scratched and scuffed.

"Iron Man _sucks_!" Darcy hissed through clenched teeth, this time placing her hands on Selvig's shoulders so she could make sure he was paying attention to her, and not getting overwhelmed by his anxiety.

"He's not an awesome Norse God like Thor, he doesn't have enhanced strength or regenerates quickly like Captain America does. He's not a trained assassin like the Black Widow- he's just some some rich genius asswipe who happens to build extraordinary weapons and keeps risking his life to protect us, and right now he _needs our help_!"

Chest heaving from her outburst, Darcy met Selvig's glassy gaze with dry green eyes. Jane gently grasped Darcy's shoulder, pulling her away from the professor.

Selvig glanced at Jane, who looked up at him and asked gently, "Dr. Banner is your friend. Can't we do anything for him?"

"...Bruce has been working on controlling his anger. I don't know what it is that triggered the Hulk..," Selvig sighed woefully, his anxiety calming down. "..but I think you were right, Jane. Darcy did manage to calm the Hulk down in the hallway, but..." There was a loud crash from outside the building, and Selvig flinched. "..I think he'll be a lot harder to talk to, right now."

"I just got to make sure he hears me, is all." Darcy grinned deviously. "I know just what to do."

  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I said that this is supposed to be a side fic that I work on when I'm stumped from my other stories. e3e;; Why did I update so quickly with this massive (not proof read TRASH) chapter? I was just really excited to share it with everyone because of all the feedback I was getting ;3;
> 
> Sooo much lovely feedback! Thank you guys, a lot of people have said that this story is 'fun'. That makes me so happy because this story is so much fun for me to write. c:
> 
> As usual, here's a hint for the next chapter; FINALLY A STEVE/DARCY MOMENT. And Tony tells Natasha she was right about their little body guard.


End file.
